Doug's Tops and Bottoms 1927 - 2019

We've finished the Best Films! 

So to wrap up three years of watching and analysing, we thought we'd take a look over the past ninety years of Hollywood in action and pick out our top ten and bottom ten films from the project. 

And finally it's Doug...

Bottom ten, in ascending order

10. Hamlet (1948 - 0.5/10) 

My original review’s highlight of this was the pleasant nap I took halfway through. Laurence Olivier’s outdated acting style and everyone’s determination to drag this out with interminable pauses, made this an arduous chore to get through rather than anything sublime. It felt proof that once again, Hamlet is more a play for the actors than the audience - and with this wooden cast, one wonders if even the actors were enjoying it. 

9. Cavalcade (1932/33 - 4/10)

 With quite a few films to pick from in terms of being godawful, Cavalcade might seem an odd choice. But where it had promise - a Noel Coward origin, a posh Downton Abbey style family and characters who span the years. But it was immediately predictable, overwrought and constantly laughable. By the time two characters get killed off on the Titanic, you’ve already called that exact event twenty minutes earlier. And then a stiff, preachy ending delivered to camera just caps off the whole thing. No. 

8. Gigi (1958 - 2/10)

I actually can barely remember anything of this flat, overdone tripe. I remember lots of exposition, unlikeable characters, a half-baked attempt at satire and the cringingly disturbing ‘Thank Heavens for Little Girls, which just feels like a predator’s song rather than a nice avuncular moment. Again, I had a nap halfway which seems to be a fairly common theme with films on this list. 

7. Tom Jones (1963 - 0.5/10)

Who knew that a Carry On could win an Oscar? I left this genuinely confused at what I was supposed to have seen, because frankly it was shit. It felt like it had the budget and skill of a Carry On film along with the rude humour. Potentially just reflecting the sexual liberality of the time, it’s awful and even Edith Evans couldn’t save it. Again - no. 

6. On the Waterfront (1954 - 4/10)

All I remember from this is being very bored and not even Marlon Brando’s fresh-faced handsomeness could save it. Lots of dull gangster stuff and Brando’s ‘I coulda been a contender’ gave no hint as to why it has endured. I don’t even remember who the villain was, but my original review assures me that he was badly played and the ending was shoddy. 

5. The Godfather (1972 - 5/10)

I think I gave this a 5 out of 10 because I was so grateful it was over. You can barely tell who is who as they all look the same, Brando’s performance is wildly overrated and you keep thinking it’s about to end - and then it doesn’t. It just keeps going. Overlong and self-obsessed, I think this  is just something that appeals to those who love machismo and guns. I find them dull. 

4. Going My Way (1944 - 1/10)

Sharing the ‘how did this win?!’ award with Tom Jones, this weird story about some priests doing good was shockingly bad. The editing alone is dire with jump cuts that make no sense, Bing Crosby struggles with terrible lyrics and the cast lack any semblance of comic timing. Feminism is set back about twenty years, and the blurb on the DVD said ‘features great songs like ‘Three Blind Mice.’ Says it all really. 

3. A Beautiful Mind (2001 - 4/10) 

Beating the phenomenal Moulin Rouge, this terrible film limply engages with mental health in a way that feels deeply irresponsible. There’s lip-service paid to how mental health treatment can help people with issues, but ultimately it just voyeuristically rejoices in how someone can be brought down  by them. It makes mental health issues scary for the sake of it, and then doesn’t go anywhere. Not dated well. Satine was robbed.

2. Crash (2005 - 0/10)

Did you know that racism is bad? That’s the central tenet of Crash, a film with the subtlety of Donald Trump’s twitter. Sandra Bullock should have known better, but this entire cast are pretty awful in this white man’s lecture on black people being oppressed. There’s even a moment where a white man says to a black colleague ‘black people, eh?’ [slams head on desk] 

1. Platoon (1986 - 2/10)

I hate war films (Patton was dire) and usually find them dripping in machismo, overwrought plot and Men being Men, which frankly is just dull. Platoon summed this up perfectly. Despite being pitched as an anti-war film, it ends up glamorising it more than it meant to, on top of which the war scenes are dull, there’s barely a plot, and I ended up watching pig videos on my phone. 

Top ten, in ascending order

10. Dances with Wolves (1990 - 10/10) and Wings (1927/28 - 5/10) 

Two wins here. Wings gets a nod for its innovative camerawork, its surrealism and frankly proving that silent films can be engaging even for a modern audience. Clara Bow was magnificent, as were the plane fights. Dances with Wolves on the other hand was captivating storytelling, revealing lots about the Native American culture and made sensitively, with Native American actors. Plus Kevin Costner. Who is hot. 

9. Titanic (1997 - 10/10) 

James Cameron managed to pull together an engaging upstairs/downstairs romance, an epic disaster movie, the myths and legends around Titanic and Gloria Stuart being magnificent, pulling it all into one film that spans three hours comfortably and manages to give you the feels regarless of what you think of it. It’s superbly done and filled with enough history to not feel cheap. Also Kate and Leo in their first major roles are just gorgeous to watch. 

8. The Best Years of Our Lives (1946 - 8.5/10) 

A lovely film, this focuses on three servicemen coming home from the war. All the performances are fine-tuned, and the film doesn’t shy away from the difficulty of men coming home and trying to slot back into a world that continued without them. The film ultimately is raised by the presence of non-actor and real ex-solder Howard Russell who has hooks instead of hands. Russell’s delivery is real and moving, and the Oscars were so set on acknowledging him that they gave him a special award - before he then went on to deservedly take Best Supporting Actor too. 

7. It Happened One Night (1934 - 10/10) 

Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable shine in the first ever screwball comedy. Filled with sexual references, sight-gags and great performances, this is a film that has stood the test of time, and even feels more feminist than a bunch of later films. Gable and Colbert - despite apparently not liking making it - bring the film to life with witty, spirited performances that leave you grinning. 

6. Million Dollar Baby (2004 - 9/10) 

If I could go back, I’d change this to a 10 in a heartbeat. Clint Eastwood has emerged from this project as a filmmaker I highly rate - telling stories about masculinity and strength from completely new angles than the turgid ‘Godfather’ type. In this, Hilary Swank excels as a scrappy underdog who wants a better life, while Margo Martindale is perfectly horrendous as her mother. A film that leaves you reeling, and musing on that final image for a long time. 

5. Parasite (2019 - 10/10)

The first ever non-English speaking film to win, Parasite was a tour-de-force, filled with beautiful imagery and sound, focusing on how damaging class can be through the story of two families. A masterpiece, you never know where it’s going until the very end, and the violence while Tarantino-esque in delivery, feels entirely real and very shocking. Filled with great performances, cinematography and writing - a superb win. 

4. How Green Was My Valley (1941 - 10/10) 

Famous only for ‘wrongly’ beating Citizen Kaine, this much maligned film deserved much more praise. While Orson Welles’ piece is innovative, it lacks heart - and Valley serves that up in bucketfuls. The lives of the Welsh miners are realistically and sometimes harrowingly brought to life, and Sara Allgood as the matriarch remains one of my favourite performances from this whole project - real, funny and in the final scenes gut-wrenchingly sad. A masterpiece. 

3. Spotlight (2015 - 10/10) 

A subtle and exceptional exploration of the work done by journalists to uncover the Catholic Church’s cover up of priests’ abusing children. It deals with the matter directly without showing anything, and real effort is made to show how this wasn’t luck - it was a result of graft and tireless effort. A fantastic ensemble cast make real impact, and I was left quietly sobbing long after the film finished at the thought of all the survivors now able - at last - to have a voice. 

2. All About Eve (1950 - 9.5/10) 

I gave Bette Davis her own mark of 11/10 for this, and that feels a little low. It’s a tour-de-force where she bursts onto screen with a fire and energy that wrongly saw her miss out on Best Actress. Never mind, her legacy survives with this extraordinary film full of witty epithets and costumes hiding a world of pain and hurt. Props too to Celeste Holm for matching her  with her own calm talent. Fasten your seatbelts! 

1. Gandhi (1982 - 10/10) 

When I finished this, I said ‘this is easily the best film I’ve seen so far.’ Now at the end of the project, it remains that way. Split into two halves, the first half ends with the Amritsar Massacre, extraordinarily shown on screen, while the second half deals with the Hindu-Muslim tensions around Pakistan’s creation. Richard Attenborough and Ben Kingsley are on career-best form, with human, comic, tragic and real moments permeating through. This is a tender love-letter, not just to Gandhi but to India itself. Extraordinary, fierce work, and one of the best films I’ve ever seen.