So to wrap up three years of watching and analysing, we thought we'd take a look over the past ninety years of Hollywood in action and pick out our top ten and bottom ten films from the project.
And first up is Paul...
Bottom ten, in ascending order
10. Patton (1970 - 3/10)
God, this was a slog. It’s nearly three hours and seems to be just a massive propaganda film about how wonderful Patton and George C. Scott were. Apparently it was Nixon’s favourite movie and you can just imagine the shamed ex-president fantasising about leading an entire army to glory. The problem is that Patton’s negative side (his jingoism and ruthlessness) is played as if it’s something admirable. There’s also the fact that the exact history of tank manoeuvres is not the most fascinating thing to watch for three hours, oddly enough. This outdated, nationalist rubbish should be missed.
9. Terms of Endearment (1983 - 3/10)
Weirdly well-regarded, Terms of Endearment is just an ultra-fluffy soap opera. The shots of flowers in between scenes made no sense to me and just evoked images of nauseatingly '80s floral interior design. Shirley MacLaine is great, but the story isn’t involving and I’m not quite sure what the entire point is. I would recommend Dallas and Dynasty if you’re looking for more exciting '80s-set drama.
8. Gigi (1958 - 3/10)
One of the most problematic winners, not least for its famous song “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” sung by a creepy old man. Most of the romantic relationships in this would be perceived as abusive now (and they are), the songs have no real melody or oomph to them, and the story meanders wildly as if being made up as it goes along (it may well have been). There are other musical Best Picture winners that are much more enticing.
7. Out of Africa (1985 - 2/10)
Another slog, and another wistful, flowery '80s epic. Lots of meaningful stares into the middle-distance, lengthy shots of African landscape and Robert Redford being sweaty can’t make up for lack of liveliness. If you asked me what it’s about, all I can tell you is “Meryl Streep is in Africa and falls in love”, which apparently was all you need to win an Oscar in the '80s. I think it’s a little more competitive now.
6. Crash (2005 - 2/10)
A problematic bottom (ooh matron), Crash is the story of racism told by white people who don’t fully understand what racism is and have no idea what it’s like to be on the receiving end. The characters might as well look to the camera and say “I am racist because I called this man the N word and that is racist”, or “I am racist because I referred to latino people as ‘those people’ and that is racist”. Show it to your kids to give them a basic rundown of racism in the USA, but move them on quickly to 12 Years A Slave and BlacKKKlansman.
5. The Deer Hunter (1978 - 2/10)
An immensely outdated work, mostly for its darkly-lit, moody tone, semi-improvised dialogue, machismo, and its slightly racist depiction of the Vietnamese. It almost sounds like sacrilege to say it, but I think this is one that has not stood the test of time. There are far more dynamic and poignant war films out there.
4. The Godfather Part 2 (1974 - 2/10)
The first Godfather is far from terrible, but the second is just tedious. Half of it is flashbacks which I didn’t feel added much to the main storyline, and the endless betrayals, assassinations and plots become predictable. At least the first instalment had an ensemble of stronger characters and surprising story developments to keep it going. Don’t let Empire magazine fool you - The Godfather trilogy does actually have faults.
3. Tom Jones (1963 - 1/10)
What was a raunchy, sex-infused, anarchic comedy in the sexually liberated '60s has become pretty weird by modern standards. I suppose it’s been tainted by the Carry On films (which aren’t hugely dissimilar to this). We felt exhausted by the fragmentary dialogue, and rapid-fire editing after just half an hour so by the end of the two hours, Tom Jones felt repetitive and lame.
2. The Broadway Melody (1928/29 - 2/10)
Not a particularly bad film in itself, but one that’s difficult to watch. The Broadway Melody sits at that brief phase between 1927 and roughly 1933 when movies were transitioning from silent to sound but weren’t quite sure what they were doing yet. The actors overdo it, line delivery is awkward, editing is patchy, and comic timing is non-existent. In terms of historical significance, it’s maybe worth watching (it was a huge hit on its release), but it’s hard to be entertained by this
1. Going My Way (1944 - 1/10)
And here’s my absolute worst pick, mostly because we’ve remembered just how shoddy this was since we first watched it when making our way through the '40s movies. Going My Way was probably a massive hit because it had the names of Bing Crosby and Barry Fitzgerald attached to it, and the later war years meant that audiences were desperate for more upbeat, hopeful entertainment. The final product is unbearably cloying with a laughably unrealistic world view. The teenage gangs of NYC are so eloquent that they make the pirouetting characters of West Side Story look like Ross Kemp, and the apparently disreputable female character is about as street-wise and rebellious as Dawn French. A horribly outdated work, and one we will laugh about for years to come.
Top ten, in ascending order
10. The Life of Emile Zola (1937 - 10/10)
I’m kicking off my top ten list with a hidden gem from the 1930s. This was a rollicking and inspirational tale of injustice and fighting for what is right. It must have been a real hard-hitter in a decade fraught with rampant anti-semitism and hatred. The courtroom scenes later in the film are delivered with passion and vivacity, and Paul Muni’s central performance is one of the strongest I’ve seen in the whole project. For me, it hasn’t aged.
9. How Green Was My Valley (1941 - 9/10)
My greatest regret in life is that I gave How Green Was My Valley a mere 9. Really, it deserved a 10. It’s one of the very few Best Picture winners that moved me to tears and it succeeds in presenting life in late-19th century Welsh mining communities vividly. It shows the humour, the sweetness and solidarity that these simple-living, community-oriented people enjoy, but isn’t afraid to show their desperation, their potential cruelty and the injustices they suffer too. It could have been sickly sweet, but it’s well-balanced and powerful and doesn’t deserve the snideness it gets for defeating Citizen Kane.
8. Gone With the Wind (1939 - 9/10)
Again, not a full 10, but the list would feel incomplete without this titan of cinema. Even when adjusting for inflation, Gone With the Wind is the most profitable film of all time, grossing nearly $500,000,000 more than the famously money-making Avatar. It maintains pace and passion even at nearly 4 hours in length, it displays some of the greatest examples of acting and direction, it has withstood endless parodies, and, even though it deserves significant criticism on this, it at least opened doors for actors of colour to start making their mark too.
7. Rocky (1976 - 10/10)
I’ve mostly included this one because I was so surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Rocky boasts a sweet character performance from Sylvester Stallone, and I was 100% on his side all the way. It’s delightfully simple, but heart-warming and stirring, with an ending that defies storytelling convention even though it originated the sports-underdog genre. The sequels are notoriously bad so I may not bother for fear of tainting the original.
6. Argo (2012 - 10/10)
A surprise win but a deserved one. Argo provides insight into historical events that are tied tightly to the western world’s recent interactions with the Middle East, and also sheds light on a little known tale of insane but understated heroism. Although it’s a piece of storytelling rather than acting or character work, it’s an involving one and you get sucked into the hysteria, terror and thrill of life in Iran during the revolution. And the finale will have you biting your nails for sure.
5. Parasite (2019 - 10/10)
Okay, maybe I’m just riding the wave, but Parasite surely deserves recognition as one of the best winners ever. A thoughtful, layered and unpredictable tale, with meticulous direction and under-recognised acting from its cast, I sincerely hope that the Academy Awards will not rest on its laurels, but will continue to provide more coverage of outstanding filmmaking from outside of the western world. Parasite is evidence that it should.
4. Oliver! (1968 - 10/10)
It was a pleasure to rediscover how glorious this musical really is. Every song is a hit and I will happily fist-fight anyone who dares claim that it dumbs down the source material. It may have eliminated about 75% of Dickens’ original tale (and the anti-semitism), but it maintains the tone and the ethos expertly. Ron Moody’s Fagin is a great bit of acting, as is Oliver Reed’s terrifying Bill Sykes and Harry Secombe’s hilariously hateful Mr Bumble. They certainly don’t make ‘em like this anymore.
3. The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957 - 10/10)
A slow burner, but one with a superb pay-off and a performance from Sir Alec Guinness that, quite frankly, almost overwhelms the rest of the cast with how good it is. This is not an average war film, but one that dissects and questions how we interact with each other when in a state of war. Should we follow the rules or not? Is it better to prove our national superiority through building or through destruction? Or at all? It’s deep stuff and worth the patient 2.5 hours.
2. Schindler’s List (1993 - 10/10)
The thing with Schindler’s List is that it’s so powerful and so profound that to criticise feels like your shitting on the graves of all six million victims of the Holocaust. Spielberg is incredibly clever because he doesn’t allow you to grieve for most of it - you spend the majority of the three hours shocked, terrified and angry, and then just when you can’t take anymore, Spielberg delivers a final scene that just tips you over the edge and soon you’re racing to the bathroom to mentally recover yourself. A great, great piece of work.
1. The Sound of Music (1965 - 10/10)
I don’t care what ANY of you think, The Sound of Music is a masterpiece. It surmounts the much less twee Schindler’s List because I will happily watch The Sound of Music over and over again, while I’m not sure I can put myself through the genocide of millions of people on a regular basis. I say “twee”, but The Sound of Music steers clear of being cloying or sickly, because it tackles the rise of fascism in a very unique way- both through the eyes of innocent children and the more knowing, anxious adults. This means that entire families can watch this and understand exactly what is happening without going into details, and it can open up important discussions with your children about who the Nazis were and what happened (although I wouldn’t make your 6 year old watch Schindler’s List immediately after this). Themes aside, this is a film that captivates from start to finish, possesses songs that haven’t lost their strength, and performances that at first seem a bit theatrical but on repeated viewings (and trust me, I’ve had many repeated viewings of this) display subtle insights into the characters that you didn’t know were there. It is, for me, the perfect movie, and one that none of the other Best Picture winners could possibly beat.
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